


Broken Mirror

by LilyCissa



Category: The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner
Genre: Comfort/Angst, Drama, F/M, M/M, Post-Series, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, implied newtmas
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-02
Updated: 2015-05-05
Packaged: 2018-03-10 05:03:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3277733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilyCissa/pseuds/LilyCissa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thomas has made it to the safe haven Ava Paige prepared for him and all the other Munies. However, that doesn't mean troubles are over. [Post-Books!Fanfiction, beware of the Spoils!]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. New Life; Old Faces

**Author's Note:**

> This fanfiction takes place just after the Maze Runner Trilogy, so it's full of spoils. It's a work in progress, one of the biggest I've ever written in English, so please be patient. I can't promise you a chapter/week but I think it could be a good rythm to begin with. I hope you'll enjoy it, even if it's kind of the "rub some salt in my wound please" fanfiction. Please note that English is not my mothertongue ! If you point any mistake, tell me so I can correct it and improve myself ! Any constructive critic is good for the taking !
> 
> Pour les francophones : j'ai en projet de réécrire cette fanfiction en français. Elle sera sûrement plus aboutie, plus développée qu'en anglais, question de niveau de langue et d'aisance. L'intrigue sera plus ou moins la même, mais je ne pense pas que ça sera une traduction au sens propre du terme.
> 
> Enjoy !
> 
> Cissa

 

His legs were hurting like crazy. His feet hit the ground, step after step, leading him further away with each second. He headed toward the forest, the trees coming closer and closer. He felt good. He felt free. He was running. He’s always been running. After all, Thomas was a Runner.

It was in his veins, something he needed to do. Sure, it reminded him of the Maze, not the happiest memories he’s got. Though, this had nothing to do with wandering haphazardly in a big box like lab rats. He could feel the wind on his face, the fresh air of the ocean brushing on his skin, his black hair moving on his head. This was as close as freedom as it could get.

Minho wasn’t far from him. They slowed down, exploring the forest, looking for some game to bring back to the others. They built a few cabins between the woods and the Cliff, nothing that looked like a village yet. With some volunteers, Thomas and Minho went hunting, while builders put up new houses.

For security reasons, they divided the hunters in small teams, two or three people at the same time. The forest seemed quite vast, so they needed to map it while searching for food. Minho jumped in as fast as Thomas and they naturally ended together, as if they never stopped being Runners. The woods have been split in sections to ease their mapping job. Old habits die hard. 

* * *

 

Four rabbits didn't have any luck that day, for they had ended on Thomas' back. Nothing bigger on the horizon, yet the boys didn't lose faith. Their brains weren’t wired to, or so said some weird and WICKED scientists. They ran again, making a ruckus loud enough to frighten every buck a few miles around. Forest wasn’t their natural habitat. Not yet. Thomas was drawing the surroundings when suddenly Minho stopped by a tall bush.

“Hey! Look what I've found!”

Thomas approached, catching his breath. He glanced at the deep green leaves and dark fruits. He knew what his friend was trying to say.

“Berries! Blue, or black?” Thomas asked.

“Don't know, you shank. I'm not an expert. Anyway, I was thinking… how can we even know they're not poisonous?”

“I think there's a medic at the village. He or she should know.”

Better hope there was. If not, they were in a whole new kind of trouble. How in the world could the Munies stand a chance if they didn't have any physician? They couldn't catch the Flare and that was great, but last time Thomas had checked, they still could succumb to the flu. Everything Thomas, Minho, Brenda and the others went through could be ending in pneumonia and scurvy if they weren't paying attention. The irony of it was so sick it was surely contagious.

Thomas would laugh if it wasn't that serious a matter. No, he didn't want to think about it, not now while he was nearly lost in the forest with rabbit corpses hanged on his shoulder. Minho picked a few berries as his friend searched for the pathway they've made before they started running. Making roads and putting signs in the area, that would be a shucking good idea.

* * *

 

Fortunately, the way back wasn't that hard to find. Thomas and Minho returned to the village, dropping off their game to those who volunteered to take care of them. By the look of it, Frypan really loved his job for he was part of the cooking team. He waved at Thomas and Minho before getting back to work.

The two not-so-ex-Runners reached for the Council. It took place in the largest house of the village. The circumstances had made the definitions of 'house' and 'village' quite flexible. Words are only there to be put on a certain reality. _Well_ , Thomas thought, _those vaguely piled up branches are a house. And those roughly gathered houses are a village._

They had nothing better, but it'd do. In a few days there would be dozens of new houses, and behind them, gardens and orchards. Though it'd be taking more time, they also could replant some seeds so they’d have real crops. They had fled, scared and isolated, until they had reached this haven Chancellor Ava Paige had been saving for them. In fact, it was better than 'better than nothing': it was better than the life they had before. Here they were totally free from totalitarian governments, mad scientists, and waiting-to-die people that begrudged their immune system.

The Council was a lot like the Gathering back in the Maze. Brenda was here, same with Gally, Minho and a few others Munies that fled with them: Jeffrey, Yolanda and June. The first one was a thirty-years-old institutor, with long features, salt and pepper hair, and a charming smile. Sure he was handsome, or so said the looks women kept throwing at him. Nearly everyone, except maybe Yolanda. She was a small woman in her mid-forties with beautiful curves and long curly hair. Thomas didn’t know what she did before ending on the Cliff, but she was taking good care of the kids, playing with them, telling them stories. She was a bowl of fresh air for people who felt the dread of the situation piercing their hearts. And last came June. She was almost as young as Thomas and somehow managed to look even more mature. Whatever her life was before the Cliff, it surely wasn’t a piece of cake.

Together, they offered some leadership to the nearly two hundred people Ava Paige had put there. It had all begun very naturally with ones giving orders and the others following them.

Thomas let Minho enter the building and turned around. He didn’t want to have anything to do with leading anymore. Time and Trials had made him sick of it. Instead he headed for the orchards to be. And maybe someone could tell him if those berries were edible.

* * *

 

Thomas sat on the Cliff, watching the sun setting slowly beneath the sea. He never knew the sun to be the benevolent god ancient cultures used to worship. It has always been evil to him. A necessary evil, but evil nonetheless. Even here, who knew if— or when the sunflares would strike. They arrived in the forest a few days ago, using the Flat trans they had immediately destroyed and had settled nearby. They didn’t really explore the surroundings yet, too busy building roofs for their heads and hunting food for their stomachs. Nobody knew where they had landed exactly. Nobody seemed to care either.

As he gazed at the bright orange disc diving from one blue to another, Thomas wondered what would be next. Life had taught him to be prepared for catastrophe. He had learnt to wait for it.

Yet, he’d be lying if he said he didn’t like this spot. He loved it, nearly as muched as he loved running, as masochistic as it might be. After a day helping with the gardening and building, it was a certain relief to come here alone to eat some rabbit. The others were singing and dancing around a bonfire they had kindled in the middle of the village. Thomas was free to participate, however he felt he didn’t belong. When he was idle, everything he went through came back like waves from the past, keeping him from grasping any joy or happiness. How could he laugh or even smile, after what all that had happened?

No. And as his past was trying to reach him again, he fought back. He didn’t want to remember, or even think about remembering. He shut down his memory, kept it silent and hidden in a dark corner of his head. He knew what he had done. He couldn’t change it so he didn’t want to relive it. He wanted it gone, erased, vanished.

“Hey! Do you mind?”

Minho’s voice put Thomas out of his miserable thoughts.

“Do you mind?” He replied. “Never thought I would like to be alone for five minutes?”

“You’re welcome, shuck-face.” Nevertheless, Minho sat near his friend, eating his own piece of roasted rabbit. “I left you alone all afternoon anyway.”

“Yeah. You were doing great.”

Silence fell again between them. It was becoming more and more usual as both boys— men?— didn’t feel the need to talk. Yet this evening being mute wasn’t soothing anything. Quite the opposite, in fact. Thomas grew with nervosity, trying not to show Minho how annoyed he was.

“I talked to Brenda…” he began.

“I don’t want to know.”

Thomas’ voice was harsh, dry with a resentment his friend never knew he had. It’s almost like… No, it was impossible.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Minho asked.

“Nothing. Just leave me alone.”

“This morning everything was fine, we were running and hunting and joking, for sun’s sake! Now you’re yelling at me!?”

Thomas sneered. “Can’t you hear yourself talk? Fine…? Take a look around, Minho. Nothing is close as ‘ _fine_ ’ in this world. So yes, I went hunting with you, talked a bit, but that’s where it ends. For today, at least. I want… I need to be alone.” His voice had softened a bit. “Please.” he added.

Looking away at the sea, Minho sighed. It was getting darker and darker, and he wasn’t thinking about the scenery. For whatever reason, his friend was pushing him away, isolating himself from everybody else. Minho felt hurt, angry, worried and sad all at once. He knew he wasn’t supposed to do that, not if he was a real friend to Thomas, but he got up, and left him alone.

* * *

 

He was ashamed and he was afraid. Thomas lay down on the ground, just outside the house of the Council, trying to get some sleep. He had nothing to cover his body, nor to ease the hardness of the soil. He took it as a punishment for his behavior towards Minho. How could he be so obnoxious with so good a friend? He restrained his tears, tried to shut down his thoughts, all to no avail. He longed for sleep to forget about Minho, though he knew sleep wouldn’t let him forget about Newt. Shivering, he focused on the myriad of stars shining in the sky until they were dancing, tracing billions of entangled lines. Without realizing, Thomas fell asleep.

* * *

 

The bowling alley was ruined, and so was Newt’s face. The boy had lost some of his blond hair to the brawling habits of his new neighbors. He was wounded, his ragged clothes covered with dirt and dried blood. His limp had gotten worse, surely due to a recent injury. He who was the mastermind of the Trials had been reduced to a wreck.

The other Cranks didn’t matter: Thomas’ mind eluded them quickly. The only thing that was important was Newt. He was the only person he could clearly see, yet seeing him like that was a whole new kind of pain. Thomas couldn’t help but let a tear go down along his cheek. He walk to Newt, oblivious of the danger the other infected were. His friend was the only thing that really mattered.

“Newt…! I came for you!”

“Get out.”

The scene started all over again, exactly the same. It was so vivid, forcing Thomas to relive the most dreadful moments of his life. Newt not wanting to leave, shouting at him, his eyes glowing with the fierce fire of the Flare. Madness was dwelling in his head, gnawing at his brains. Looking at him was like staring at a torn painting: everything that was beautiful and sparkling had been ternished and made ugly. The beauty had been changed into a beast.

Thomas had been through this nightmare at least a dozen times and he knew too well what’d be coming next. Knowing didn’t soothe or change anything, but this night was different. The scene faded at the same moment, when Thomas left the bowling alley, however the nightmare didn’t switch to their last meeting. No, it started all over, except he was Newt.

And he was shouting at Minho, telling him to go away never to come back. To let him die here, with all the other Cranks, because it was where he belonged. The place changed imperceptibly, the walls rising to the skies, the roof disappearing, the floor growing green and wet. The Glade. The Maze. It was where he belonged, where he had a purpose, a raison d’être. Now he was a nobody, helpless and useless. He felt so empty it hurt. So empty he awakened.

* * *

 

He didn’t came out of this mockery of sleep screaming theatrically or even gasping for breath. His eyes opened wide to gaze silently upon the moonless sky. The sudden realization was too crazy to be fully grasped. Putting the pieces together was already a task too difficult for Thomas: it took him long minutes before he could manage to clearly understand it.

They said he was immune to the Flare. What if he wasn’t? How could he knew that was true? What if they had lied to him? Immunity truly was a lifelong thing, or not? Did they have any proof? What if he was slowly going nuts?

What if…

He realized now. His whole life had been filled with so much lies he doubted there was any truth in it to begin with.

What if the Cliff was another Maze?

What if everything was just another test?

_I should have let them crack my skull open. That’d have been easier. So much easier…_


	2. From an Old Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Survival isn't easy, especially when you belong to a big group with nothing to begin with.

 

They went hunting as soon as the sun rose up. They had no information about their location, only that this threatening burning star didn't seem so aggressive around here. They were more cautious this time, walking slowly, trying to keep their footsteps silent. Stealth was the key, and they found it wasn't that easy to be discreet in a forest.

They only had ropes, and no real hunting skills. Minho carried a spear, the only distance weapon he was good with. If he hadn't killed Gally back then, it was only because he didn't want to. His aim was perfect.

They were going deeper and deeper into the woods, until Minho stopped all of a sudden.

"Wait." he whispered to Thomas.

He stood still, taking a look around. Minho had really good eyes, for Thomas could hardly see the buck through the branches and leaves.

"You think you can…"

"Have to try." He answered in a low breath.

He lifted his arm, aimed the spear at the oblivious animal and with a confident gesture, threw it. The buck escaped, but not by far.

"Damn…"

Minho sighed. Even if he had missed this shot, it didn't mean he would fail all the way. He turned to Thomas, only to catch him smiling lightly.

"What?"

"Nothing." Thomas replied. "I was just thinking that you used to be better than that."

"Well, thank you for your support, shank."

Minho exaggerated his annoyance, mainly because he was too happy to see his friend joking, even at his expense. He didn't tell him though. That'd spoil the mood.

"You don't know klunk about my skills with a spear anyway." Minho added, hoping to preserve this fragile casualness a little longer.

"And I don't really want to know, if you're talking about something else." Thomas answered, forgetting for a moment his distress. He wasn't a damsel, yet Minho was glad to be his knight in shining armor.

"Whatever 'it' is, I'm good with it." he replied.

For the first time since they arrived on the Cliff, Thomas laughed. Minho knew he genuinely laughed. And it was making him happy.

"Enough ribald jokes. Let's get some meat for dinner." Thomas said.

"Oh please, don't tempt me like that. I won't fall for it."

"Too late."

"Maybe."

Making dirty jokes with Thomas wasn't new, yet it felt different now. Minho could lightly joke about sex with anybody but Thomas. Part because what their lives had always looked like, part because of something he didn't quite understand.

Anyway, they had more serious matters to attend. Their hunting trip lasted three or four hours more, until they eventually got their hands on a deer.

 

* * *

 

The village was a noisy mess when Thomas and Minho came back. People were arguing loudly around the house of the Council, debating about something the boys couldn't hear.

"What is this all about?" Minho uselessly asked, for Thomas could only shrug. How could  _he_  know ?

They approached, letting the poor deer to the cooking team. Then they cut their way through the crowd, until they finally reached Jeff. He was trying to calm down the villagers, calling everyone to behave like reasonable people.

"What's the matter?" Minho repeated, to the Councellor this time.

"Some people…"

"We want to find a city!" a girl interrupted.

Minho turned to her, only to find her strangely familiar. Her long and curly blond hair, her harmonious face, and also her harsh, determined low voice were definitely known to him. Where did he see her? He turned his memory machine on, vaguely recalling he kinda liked her. Yes. Now he remembered. Sonya, from group B. Still looking dangerous and gorgeous. To Minho, these qualities came together. Yeah, he liked her, but unfortunately not her idea.

"Why do you want to take such a risk? Cities are swarming with Cranks for all we know!"

"Because we don't have a choice! Jeffrey won't hear me…" And indeed Jeff made a face. "…but we need to. We won't be able to feed everybody. We'll be starving soon… No offense but hunting isn't enough."

"That's why we're building orchards, and gardens." Thomas interrupted.

"Yeah, I know and that's great." She sounded genuinely concilient. "But that's not enough. Trust me."

"Ok, so maybe we could talk about it somewhere else?" Minho proposed. "The noise here is getting on my nerves."

Sonya agreed. They went walking around, soon followed by Yolanda and Brenda. Jeff joined too, relunctanly. Thomas stayed behind tough. Minho wondered why with a glance.

"I got work to do." Thomas answered. "And I don't want any of this decision making klunk. Not my business."

"Anymore." Minho added.

"Anymore."

 

* * *

 

Minho and the others held an unofficial Council just near the river that passed a few miles south of the Village. The place was calm and sunny, with only the soothing sound of the water. They left the villagers to their questions, hoping they would be able to bring them answers. Yeah, easier said than done.

They sat down on a rock near the river, watching silently the stream. As he was beginning to lose patience, Minho asked Sonya :

"So you're saying we need supply runs?"

"Of course! Can't you see?"

"Calm down." Jeff told. "Just explain to us, ok?"

"Oh please, don't patronize me, old man." Sonya replied. So much for calming down, indeed. Yet, she tried to explain: "There won't be enough food for all of us. Let's face it: we can't hunt for more than two hundred people."

"Maybe we could form new hunting teams?" Yolanda suggested.

"Maybe, but the game would soon be lacking." Minho answered. Sonya sighed, glad the boy understood her.

"So what can we do?" Brenda asked.

"We could extend the crops…"

"No Jeff, we'd lack seeds. Besides, it wouldn't be enough. An adult needs between two and three thousand kilocalories a day: if we roughly do the math, it brings to four hundred thousand kilocalories a day for the whole Village. A hundred grams of meat roughly counts for two hundred kilocalories, and I'm being optimistic. That's two hundred kilograms of meat you have to find. A day. And meat is the more caloric food we have, for now."

"Anyway, vegetables don't grow in a day…" Minho didn't realize he said that out loud.

"Indeed. When winter comes, we'll be even more dependant on the food we could grow during the summer. We're lucky it's still spring."

"So, you want people to search the surroundings for seeds and cows." Yolanda wasn't asking anything, but Sonya nodded all the same.

"Basically." she replied. "We need supplies before we can get self-sufficient. If not, we're going to starve."

"Ok, but there aren't cities nearby…" Minho pointed out.

"We didn't really looked, though." Brenda retorted.

"Even if we did look, it's still pretty dangerous to go out there scavenging cities. We don't know what's awaiting us there." Jeff objected.

"Did you mean: we do know what's there. Cranks. And to roam around there is madness."

"Thanks for the bad pun, Minho." Even if she sounded pissed, Sonya smiled. "Anyway, we have to try. Some people didn't eat yesterday, and some won't tonight. We can't wait and see them die."

"Agreed but chances are we don't find food anyway." Minho argued. "Those cities must have been emptied a long time ago."

"Maybe, but we still need clothes, sheets, blankets, and other stuff. The nights are cold."

"She's right." Brenda said. "We have to try and search the cities. Maybe we'll find some place safe to build a new home?"

"Yeah and maybe we'll feast on unicorns?"

"Cut the klunk out, Minho."

Everybody turned to look at Thomas. He couldn't help but interrupt their private council. He's always been curious and spontaneous. He was a damn born leader. When he decided to stay away from the discussions, Minho didn't really believe it. He knew Thomas too well, perhaps even more than himself.

"She's right." Thomas pursued. "We could at least give it a shot. Without telling anyone, so a potential failure wouldn't be too hard a matter to handle."

"Really?" Jeff seemed skeptical.

"Yeah. A very small team…" Thomas suggested. "I alone, if you want."

"If you go, I go too." Minho reacted.

"No way I'll let you two get all the glory. I'm going too!" Sonya added.

"So it's settled." Yolanda said. "You will go scouting the surroundings to find if there are nearby cities, and if you find one, you go tomorrow morning. Is that ok?"

Everybody nodded.

"And of course, not a word to anyone."

They nodded again.

 

* * *

 

The whole group slowly walked back to the Village. People were obviously worried, but with a glance, Jeff told the others he would take care of the situation. He was already giving them a speech when Minho, Thomas and Sonya passed him by.

They didn't need to speak, only to follow each other footsteps. There weren't any leader for now, only three young people marching north to the forest. Even if they didn't know it, they had the same idea: the woods were growing on the top of hills. They were searching for a higher point of view, and surely the nearest should be on the top of one of these trees.

They were lucky. The sun was high, and the weather was quite clear. Eventually they found a tall tree to climb on. Without a word, Thomas began to ascend, burying his foot deep down into the bark. Sonya quickly followed, while Minho ended the group. In a few minutes, they were up high into the tree, just a little bit lower than the top. They let their eyes wander about the scenery, amazed by such beauty. Forests, plains, hills, and not that far on their left, the ocean. The set was so breathtaking they nearly forgot their mission.

"So, let's find a damn city." Sonya whispered, bringing back the boys to reality.

"Yeah." Thomas uselessly answered.

He looked west and south, but there was nothing to be seen. The north side was a bit more promising, though.

"Do you see it too?" Minho asked.

"Maybe…"

"If you guys are talking about those shining metallic sticks beyond the plains, yeah, I'm seeing them too."

Minho let out a quick laugh, joining Sonya in their ephemeral joyfulness. Even Thomas smiled. What they saw looked like an old town, maybe 30 miles north-northwest of the Village.

"We have a destination, after all."

"Yep. Let's find something to eat and get back to the others." Sonya suggested.

 

* * *

 

The evening was more quiet than Minho would have thought. Jeff had been a good leader or so it seems, for every villager was calm and collected. They didn't look happy, but at least they weren't shouting at each other. Sonya came back to her friends, chatting lively with Harriet and other girls Minho didn't know. He was left with his one and only friend now, Thomas. A dead mute of a friend.

"If you want to talk, go ahead." he offered.

"Do I look like I want to talk?" Thomas harshly answered.

"You look like you need to. That's all."

Although he was genuinely worried about him, he couldn't force Thomas to open up. He sighed, and got back to the rabbit and berries he brought for dinner. And they ate in silence.

By twos and threes, people got back to the hutts they've been building for the past two days until there was barely anyone left. Thomas and Minho were almost alone.

"Where are you going to sleep tonight?"

Minho eventually spoke, tired of this buzzing lack of words between them. They were friends, weren't they? So why Thomas was acting so strange lately?

"I don't know. Outside, somewhere. Does it matter?"

"Yes. Can't you see I'm wondering what you're thinking about these times?"

Thomas sneered and looked away. "What are you saying? You're afraid I'll throw myself off the Cliff?"

"Why not? I absolutely don't know what's going on in your head since we got here."

"Suicide? Seriously?"

Minho shrugged. "We all thought about it, at some point. When we were into the Maze, I mean."

"Not me." Thomas pointed out.

"You got there quite late, and everything was solved just after."

"Solved? People died. Ben, Alby, Chuck…"

"Newt?"

Silence fell. Thomas didn't know what to answer to that.

"It's about him, isn't it?" Minho carried on. "Everytime I say his name, it's like I'm stabbing you with a knife. You never told me how…"

"I said I didn't want to talk." Thomas got up, ready to leave for wherever he'd sleep that night.

"Fine. But promise me something, then."

"Are you negociating?" His eyes narrowed.

"What choice do you leave me?" Minho sighed, sincerely distressed. "Promise me that when you talk to me, you won't lie."

"What if I don't ever talk to you about that?"

"Just promise me." Minho knew that a day will come when Thomas would be ready to open up. It was just too soon for him, just too soon.

"I promise."

 

* * *

 

The morning sun went up quite fast. Minho would have wanted the luxury of a longer sleep, but today was the beginning of their expedition to the city nearby. It wasn't exactly close, so they'll be away for a few days. Maybe more. As he was awakening, Minho started to think about the risks and gains of this whole idea. They wouldn't be able to bring back a lot of things, and the journey was long and dangerous. There was a big fat chance they'd all die in the process. He got up, and sighed. It was a crazy danger they took, yet if they were dead all the same if they didn't take it. It was all about survival now and not only theirs but the others. Minho, Thomas and Sonya were doing this for every Villager that couldn't go with them. The thought calmed down Minho's anxiety a little.

It was before he heard people shouting. Pulling on his shirt, he followed the voices until the borders of the forest. He found Thomas searching in big wooden boxes with no inscription whatsoever.

"What the hell is this?" Minho asked.

"Supplies." His friend answered with a grim look on his face.

"Why the long face, then? What's in there?"

"Blankets, clothes, seeds… It's like somebody was listening to us yesterday." Thomas got on his feet and approached Minho to whisper to him: "I don't like this. We're being watched or something."

"But we need these…" he objected.

Jeff and Yolanda were already on the spot, counting, sorting and distributing.

"Yeah, I know." Thomas replied. "But what if… What if this is a whole new test? We needed things, and now we have them. Don't you think it's weird?"

"Hmm… How did the boxes arrived here?"

"Don't know. By air, I think."

"Bergs?"

"Maybe… Look, if someone is watching us, listening to us, what are we going to do?"

Thomas' panick in his big brown eyes was more real than anything Minho have ever seen. He put a hand on his shoulder and whispered with a low calm voice.

"Listen to me: even if someone is out there, we can't do klunk about it now. The only thing we can do is taking what's given to us. Our plan doesn't change."

"Ok."

"Breathe, shank. It'll be okay. Everything will be okay."

He hugged him tight in his arms, oblivious of the glances people were giving to them. Everything will be okay? That was the lamer thing he could have said, but it seemed to wash away some of Thomas' fear. Deep down though, Minho knew he know nothing. Maybe Thomas was right and all of this was only a new test, messing up with their heads again. Maybe the disposal in their brain wasn't that successfully removed. Maybe the chancellor offered help while she still could do it.

Maybe Thomas was wrong. Maybe WICKED was wrong and they weren't that immune.

Maybe he's got the Flare.


	3. City of the Damned

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's go to that city and see what we can bring back to the Village !

The morning came too fast, even if he didn't sleep. Lying down on the ground next to Minho, Thomas kept his eyes opened all night long. His friend had trouble sleeping too, but eventually he snored. The roaring sound kind of soothed Thomas as he turned his words into his head.

Minho said everything was going to be alright. Thomas wanted to believe him but, really? In fact they didn't have a clue. Today, as soon as the sun would show its burning face, Sonya, Minho, and he would go away to find a city that was probably crawling with Cranks. What an irony that he was afraid of Cranks when he was maybe one of them.

Slowly, the idea crept inside his head as insidious as the disease itself. Maybe he was going nuts. He was surely going crazy… How could he still be with them survivors and munies if he didn't really belong? That was kept him awake this night, this little thought that perhaps he was living his last days as himself. As Thomas.

"What are you thinking about?" Minho asked.

Thomas jumped. He didn't notice his friend was awake too.

"Nothing."

What else could he reply? His anxiety was enough for him alone, no need to bring down Minho with it. Sighing, Thomas took a look at the deep blue sky brightening up in the east. They only had a few minutes before the sunrise.

"We should get up." he added.

"You bet. You didn't even got down, am I right?"

"What? What do you mean?"

"You didn't sleep."

That wasn't even a question. Minho knew only by looking at his friend that he didn't rest a bit during the night. Thomas could only smile apologetically and get on his feet. If they wanted their journey to be the shortest possible, they'd better go soon.

"I'm going and find Sonya." Minho said with a tired voice.

"Okay."

Thomas couldn't help but smile a little again. There was definitely something going on between those two. He tried to feel happy for Minho, yet he couldn't. It was as if a tiny grain of sand had got itself stuck into his emotions machine. Something was out of pace, out of place. He felt weird, not happy neither unhappy. He shivered, ashamed by his own feelings. Watching Minho's eyes shine when he said her name hurt him in a whole new way. He's always been on the center of his life since he met him. Maybe he was just jealous. And that definitely sucked.

* * *

 

They went north as soon as they were geared up. They brought a few weapons with them : wooden spears and pikes, knives made of stone and poor metal. They didn't really have anything else to use : that's what they were reduced to. There was no need to bring food with them, as there wasn't enough for the Village and they were traveling to find more. Big bags were useful though. And water. They were lucky enough to have settled near a river, but they had no guarantee they'd find drinking water on the way.

"Let's go then." Sonya announced when they reached the other end of the forest. The north one. They had walked only a few hours, crushing leaves and branches, gathering berries and looking for game. Sonya was particularly proud of her three rabbits. She was quite a good knife-thrower.

"Do you think we went unnoticed?" Thomas asked.

Minho only shrugged. "Don't know." the girl said. "Anyway, what's done is done. Can we see the city from here?"

Thomas cast a glance, then shook his head. "There isn't enough light. I'd try to take a look of the city as we're walking."

The day was awfully long and boring. They didn't talk much; partly because there was nothing to say, partly because they felt more and more tired. The sun was all but helping, even though the landscape wasn't the desert that the Scorch was. There were trees, grass, water, and none of these crazy storms they went through back in the day. Yet, Thomas couldn't say it was a pleasant journey.

They had a sight of the city since mid afternoon or so, yet it was too far to reach in a day. They took a break in the evening, finding refuge in a small town on the way. It was completely abandoned, or at least it looked like it was. There was no being too careful, so one of them was always awake to watch their surroundings. Nothing happened that night.

The new day was like the day before. They walked and walked, bored and tanned by the big bad ball of gas burning in the sky people called sun, until they reached the city that had been growing bigger and bigger in front of their eyes. Soon enough, they entered it.

* * *

 

Thomas couldn't read any signs. The people who lived here were clearly not speaking English, even if they used the same alphabet. Well, with some weird letters in it. The town they got into wasn't an enormous one as Thomas used to know them, but he thought it was big enough.

"You seen somethin'?" he asked Sonya with a low voice.

She lead the way, scanning the area. After a few seconds of examination, she shook her head.

"No sign of life."

"Wouldn't count on it though…" Minho added.

Thomas agreed silently as they walked along the buildings, always remaining in the shadows. Sun was already going down and if the darkness would be a great cover, it could make their scavenging mission more difficult.

The whole place was a wreck. Some buildings showed signs of fire, stone and bricks defaced by black scars. Others were so damaged, so eaten away by big holes caused by decay or bombs, Thomas wondered by what miracle they still stood. Everywhere nature had taken over: trees were growing into the malls, flowers were blooming between the cracks of the concrete, grass was showing beneath the asphalt of the road. Thomas couldn't imagine ruins to be so beautiful. And humbling. After everything humanity had accomplished, this was all that was left of it. He could almost hear the bright laughter of Mother Nature as he was entering this immense graveyard of the human civilization.

Except for the birds singing in the last rays of light, everything was deadly quiet. Thomas was careful not to step onto something that might crack: in the overwhelming silence, even the faintest noise would have sounded like an explosion. The problem with Cranks was that they weren't deaf, and in a twisted way, they weren't stupid either. Thomas hold his knife tighter as he reckoned that someday, any day, he would say "we" instead of "they". He stood still a few seconds to control his panic, eyes closed. When he opened them again, Minho was waving his hand.

He was pointing at a three-stored shopping mall, just on the other side of the street. Surprisingly enough, the building seemed less prone to crumbling into a pile of dust than some others. Sonya nodded, waiting for Thomas to do the same. He did without thinking, trusting his friends. Quickly and as swift as they could, they crossed and entered the mall. The first shops were mostly clothes and fake jewelry but their main priority was food. Sonya grabbed some t-shirts on the way eventhough the mysterious boxes included blankets and clothes. As long as she wasn't forgetting to bring food, Thomas wasn't going to say anything. Sonya was too smart to be bossed around, not to say Thomas was done bossing people. He went by her, searching for a general store further away in the mall. Of course there was one, but things weren't that easy. It's been too long since the Flare spread out. Even if this country Thomas didn't have a name for, the Cranks were there for a long time. He had been right: this city must have been scavenged through and through.

The general store was as ruined as the town outside. Items were randomly thrown on the floor, and most of the edible food was gone. This was no secret: Cranks aren't cannibal by default. They are because they're starving. If the city was theirs, Thomas was pretty sure there was no food to be found. At least, not in a shopping mall.

"We gotta get back. We'll find nothing here." he said to Minho with a deeply tired voice.

"Sure?"

Feeling sorry for being so negative yet realistic, Thomas nodded. Sonya heard him too, and agreed with a desperate sigh.

They exited the building by another entry, and decided to search the houses instead. Without even realizing it, Thomas was leading them again, crossing backdoors and rummaging through closets and basements. The strategy proved itself useful, for they left the city far from empty-handed.

The night was upon them when they decided to go back to the Village. It had fallen a few hours earlier, covering them for their little roaming around. They didn't encounter any Crank whatsoever, and to everyone, that was good news. Only Thomas thought he knew better, although he blamed it on his early Flare. When life gives you lemons, well. For once, he didn't want to succomb to his stage 1 paranoia. Maybe he should have.

Heading south, Thomas, Minho, and Sonya didn't notice they were followed.

* * *

 

The journey back was a lot more tiring. The sun was still being a pain in the ass, but this time they were carrying pounds and pounds of food, clothes, knives and axes. A good thing people that used to live here were quite the gardening kind. They only had a few hours break to rest before getting up again. Still affected by an acute insomnia, Thomas let Sonya and Minho sleep more than was initially scheduled and took their watch. It hurt him so much to see those two getting along so well, but what could he say? Pushing himself aside, he had kept his distance from them, trying not to think too much. That hadn't been working well.

They eventually got back to the Village, heading straight to the Council House with everything they brought with them. Jeff was there to welcome them and begin sorting the goods they found in the city.

"So, how was it?" he asked.

"Quiet. Calm." Sonya answered.

"Too calm to me." Thomas added.

"We could set patrols to be sure we're safe here." Minho suggested.

"Not a bad idea. But for now, you need to rest."

Jeffrey let the teenagers go to their cabins and turned to the bags they had left him. He had work to do, and that felt good.

* * *

 

Thomas went on a walk alone to the river, making sure Minho and Sonya didn't see him leaving them behind. He needed to think, even though he knew it wouldn't do him any good. Anyway, he also needed a good old bath. The afternoon was dying on the west when he reached the stream. He walked up to some rocks along the river where he hid his clothes and his nakedness. He wasn't sure someone would come here at such an hour, but that remained a possibility.

The water was icy cold and after their little trip, that clearly wasn't a bad thing. Feeling purified by such a glacial touch, Thomas slowly entered the stream, until he was completely immersed. When they were at the shopping mall, he hid something in his pockets. A tiny little thing. A precious luxury he didn't want to share. Soap. They brought some for the rest of the Village, but Thomas wanted one for himself. Just a little whim.

He lost all notions of time in that river, cleansing himself, body and soul. Thinking of nothing and everything at once, he bathed like it was a ritual. Chances were it was his last bath. He could feel the Flare working in his brains and he didn't want to go too far without a goodbye. This was his farewell to civilization. To humanity.

Or so it should have been.

"Hey Thomas!"

Minho. As always. With a quick move, Thomas tried to hide himself in the water but it was too clear to actually hide anything.

"What do you want?"

"Woah… Is that soap I'm seeing on your skin?"

Thomas retreated behind the rocks, blushing like crazy.

"You're not seeing anything, just turn away, you pervert shank!"

"Easy there! I just thought we gave everything to the Council."

"Well, you thought right. I kept it to myself. Is that a crime?"

Minho frowned. "Of course not. Don't be so touchy."

Silence fell, awkward and uneasing.

"Are you gonna stay here?" Thomas asked.

"Ok, I'm getting it, I'm not welcome here!"

"No you're not!"

"I guess I'll just wait a few yards away."

It was Thomas' turn to frown.

"Why? Just go back to the Village."

"No. I'm too worried about you to let you alone. You've been looking as if you're ready to run. To where, I don't know, and I don't want to."

"When the time is right, I'll have to go." Thomas said with a stern voice.

"Oh please Thomas, you don't have it." Minho couldn't help but roll his eyes.

"How can you know I don't?"

"Because you're immune, you shuck-face!"

"We don't really know that!"

Doubt passed upon Minho's face, and Thomas was too anxious not to notice it.

"You don't know." he added.

"Ok, I don't know for sure." Minho admitted. "But I know you're not okay, Flare or not. And I'm not letting you alone. Not this time."

"What are you talking about?"

Minho made an absolutely magnificent bitch-face.

"Did you mean 'who' I'm talking about?"

"Oh please shut up. You ruined my day." Thomas growled back.

"You shut up. You're ruining my life."

The harshness in Minho's voice was like a slap in Thomas' face. He stood paralyzed, mute, and looking a little dumb. His friend turned away and took a few steps before sitting on a rock, showing his back at him.

"Ok, I got it. You're not leaving without me." Thomas whispered.

* * *

 

Thomas suppressed a faint smile. How could he have imagined Minho would let him go without holding him back? That night they came back to the Village together, walking side by side. It reminded Thomas of the Maze without its walls. Outside, into the wild or so it seemed, they didn't need walls. Where could they run to, anyway?

They didn't say anything as they went back to the others. They didn't feel like talking, not now. There wasn't words good enough to express what Thomas was feeling, so he kept silent.

Villagers had lit a bonfire like they did every night, only this one was merrier than the ones before. With the surprise boxes full of supplies and the surprise run to the city nearby, it was more than people would have hope. Jeffrey was announcing the building of new cabins and orchards and Yolanda was telling stories to the younger kids. Brenda sat not far away, chatting loudly with Sonya and Harriet. When they saw Minho coming back, the discussion faded away. Thomas wanted to scream but fortunately he managed to keep it inside. It was becoming a habit now.

"I think the girls want to talk to you." he only said to him.

"Maybe. I don't really care."

Thomas couldn't help but smile sadly. "You're lying. Go. I promise I won't disappear."

Minho looked at him, plunging his eyes into the brown abysses of Thomas'. Before he could refrain from it, he hugged him surprisingly tight.

"Thomas…" he started without breaking the embrace, but then fell silent.

"What?" The suspense was literally killing him.

"You know I'm taking this promise very seriously?"

"Huh?"

"Please, don't… disappear."

In his heart, Thomas knew Minho wanted to add 'like Newt', only he didn't. And as he watched him, the only person in this world he could still trust, go and greet the girls, he thanked him for it.


	4. Shards and Cracks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little talk between Brenda and Thomas is quickly interrupted by a loud scream.

A few days had passed by since their little trip to No-Name City. Thomas was often busy gardening and hunting with Minho, while Sonya, Brenda and Harriet put up the idea of building a fishing boat for the sea. Nothing that could sail very far from the coast, but enough to catch some fish along the way. That was a great idea, and sometimes when he wasn't too busy, Minho went to the beach to help the girls.

Thomas didn't. He wasn't stupid, and he knew it was only a matter of time for Minho and Sonya to become official. He didn't really know what to think about it, so he carefully avoided the subject. If he was to stay alone, waiting for his time to come, he'd better get used to it. That day was exactly like the others: people worked, children played, he hunted then waited for the bonfire to be lit up. No change, no. And that was fine, really.

Only this day something changed. Without a sound, Brenda came and sat down just next to him.

"Hey Thomas."

"Hi."

"So… How are you?"

Really? He did what he could not to sound offensive as he sighed.

"I've been better." He answered, then added with hesitation: "And you?"

She smiled sadly. "Same. I guess we're all doing what we can."

"We can't do anything else, can we?"

"Yeah."

He felt the urge to ask why she was here and what she wanted, but fortunately he didn't say anything. His silence was eloquent enough.

"I wondered…" Well not enough, since she opened her mouth again. "Do you mind if… I don't know, we could hunt together, don't you think?"

Was she really…? Naaay.

"You know how to hunt?"

"Bitch please! I know a little and I can learn the rest."

"Good enough. Why with me? I'm not even a good hunter."

"Why not? We used to hang out together, didn't we?"

"If by 'hanging out' you mean 'being chased to death by Cranks while trying to fulfill some bullshit pseudo-scientific experiment run by crazy assholes', yeah. We used to."

That sounded better in his head. Brenda stood still, paralyzed. She didn't expect something like that. No one would have. Yet there was no anger in her voice, only sadness.

"You're really not okay, I can see."

"What is that you want from me?" He didn't have anything to lose now he'd already blow up his politeness cover.

"Nothing, Thomas. I don't want anything from you. I just want to be with you. You seem so distant these times…"

"Maybe it's because I g…"

For the better or the worse, he didn't have the chance to finish his sentence. A shout stirred up in the air, coming from the forest.

Feeling his survival instincts taking over him again, Thomas stood up, took the nearest knife and spear and went to see what it was. Next to him, Brenda did exactly the same. They run to the first line of trees, searching for the person who screamed. When they found him, lying in the forest, it was two minutes to too-late-hour. Encircled by cranks, the man couldn't even move. They were about to kill him when spears and knives came flying at them, pinning them away from the poor victim-to-be. Running forward to the cranks, charging like a damned man, Thomas took a few of them down, then was quickly joined by Brenda, Sonya and Minho.

Everything went too fast after that. Thomas' brains shut down, his body becoming only what it was: just a body, fighting other bodies in a sea of blood and gore. That wasn't pretty: under the influence of panic and adrenaline, even the most rational people acted like wild animals. The cranks didn't even have a chance. There were too few now that all the Villagers able to fight had joined in. As a fiery storm, the battle faded away as fast as it came. Soon, there were only survivors and corpses.

Thomas fell on his knees. Exhausted, he couldn't cope with what his life became, with what he was made to do to survive. He swept his blade on his pants, barely looking at the blood. Somewhere in his conscience, he knew he only did what he had to. Yet, that didn't soothe his pain.

"Hey, are you okay?" Brenda came across him, stretching her hand to him.

"You know I'm not." That was the only thing he could say.

"You need to talk. Come with me."

For once, he didn't think too much and took her hand.

"Don't you think we have other matters to attend?" Thomas asked. "Cranks attacked the Village, we were followed when we went into that city… That was a mistake."

"Oh please shut up." Brenda sounded more tired than actually pissed. "Your trip was a relief for everyone here, and the cranks are defeated, aren't they? Let the others make the decisions, gathering an army or whatever. You aren't even on the Council anyway."

"But you are."

"Then I'm taking my day off. We need to talk. Well, you do."

They quickly walked away from the forest. Minho wasn't looking at them. Perfect: at least Thomas wouldn't feel the need to justify himself for letting others discussing strategy and burning the bodies.

He and Brenda went back to the Village and passed it by. They were as far as the river, just a few yards away from the spot where Thomas took his bath days before. To come here with her felt almost like a treason.

"So, what do you want me to say?" Thomas began.

"What's wrong with you? I remember when you were… You were different Thomas. Back in the Scorch, you were kind and brave. Not so… blasé."

"What can I say? I am blasé. I'm tired of all this, Brenda. So tired…" He sighed and sat down in the grass. She soon did the same. "WICKED fucked me up" he went on, "they used me like a toy, a lab rat. They fed me lies under the cover of so called experiments… I don't even know if it was efficient or not, if it served any purpose. I seriously doubt it now. Their intentions were good, yeah, but their actions? I don't think so. That was pure torture. They messed with my head so many times that I can't help but think this is all another test. I'm going crazy, Brenda. What if this immunity thing was another lie? An error? What if…?"

"You think you got it, don't you?"

She was smart, compassionnate, sweet, and that was almost too much for Thomas to handle. He could only nod slightly at her, trying not to cry. She tried to reassure him:

"Listen to me: if you weren't immune, you'd be already dead, and you're not. You. Don't. Have. The. Flare."

"How can you be so sure?"

"I've been outside long enough to know that. I can almost feel it. You may have ninety-nine problems, but the Flare isn't one."

"So… The way I was acting, what I was thinking…"

A faint smile lit up Brenda's face.

"I'm sure it's not the Flare. You've got a lot of issues, that's for sure, and that's normal. That's the least we could have thought after what you've been through."

He knew she was right, and that relieved him. Ashamed him also, in a twisted way. After all, Minho had tried so much times and always failed. Then Brenda comes and everything's alright? That wasn't fair. That was just not fair at all.

Thomas began to sob.

"Here…" Brenda enlaced him, stroking his back with her gentle hands. Minutes passed, as long as hours. Until Thomas eventually opened his mouth again.

"Brenda… Do you… Do you love me?"

The question took her aback. She stayed silent a moment, then whispered slowly: "Maybe."

"I can't." That was the only words that crossed his mind and that was clearly not enough. What did that mean?

"I can't." he repeated. "I can't… I can't trust you. I can't trust anyone anymore." His sobbing was getting worse, and that was the main reason Brenda did not cry too. She needed to stay strong for him, even if he was bluntly pushing her away. "I can't trust you," he went on, "I'm so sorry… I'm sorry…"

"That's okay, Thomas. That's okay."

"I'm so sorry…"

She didn't want to hear why he couldn't trust her, because somehow she already knew the reason why. Yet his talking didn't stop.

"You know, it's like a mirror. Trust. You can try and fix it, but no matter what you do, the damage's done and that's not something you can erase. It's so visible, and irreversible."

"I understand…" she whispered.

"You can't repair a broken mirror. You just can't."

Now Thomas was more talking to himself, but Brenda didn't seem to care. She'd been right: he really needed to talk. And now he realized he didn't talk to the right person. Brenda wasn't the one he wanted in his arms. She wasn't the one he trusted, the only one that never ever broke the mirror.

He needed him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So my brain did a thing, and when I realized this 'part' of the 4th chapter was actually >1k words long, I decided to published it as a chapter of its own. I hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> And sorry not sorry for making Thomas quoting Lady Gaga: I really wanted to explain the title. 
> 
> "Trust is like a mirror : you can fix it if it's broken, but you can still see the cracks in that motherf***er's reflection." - Telephone PV.


	5. Double Standards

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The recent events brought Cranks just outside the Village. The Council need to make a hard decision : creating an army. The real problem is that Jeff doesn't want Minho to participate to the effort.

The Cranks could be around the Village anytime now. They needed to build up defenses and create what would look like an army. Minho didn't like the idea, yet he suggested it on the next Council.

"We need enforcement, patrols around the Village and all."

"He's right," added June. The doctor didn't have much time to spend on the Council, since she was the only physician of the Village. When she didn't take care of people who needed it, she tought a few youngsters about medecine. "We can't take the risk to see what we try to build here being destroyed."

"I agree." Jeffrey said with a tone Minho didn't like. "But I'm concerned with armed people going around the Village."

"We don't have a choice, Jeff." Yolanda replied.

He sighed. "I know… I'm just not comfortable with the idea. If we are to have an army, who is going to be our soldiers?"

"I don't think we'll be lacking volunteers." Minho pointed out. "First, I want to be part of it. I think that everyone that went through the Trials would be too."

"Young boys? Girls?" Jeffrey had uttered those words with surprise.

"Yes." Minho was having none of this old man's shit today. He didn't like at first, and the feeling didn't go away with time. "Young boys and girls that saved your life and brought you here. We're not children anymore, show some respect."

The women fell silent, clearly upset. As for Jeff, his cheeks went red with anger.

"You should show more respect to me! I am the leader of these people and now that we have the choice to recruit men for an army instead of teenagers, I don't see why we shouldn't do it."

"Experience." Brenda replied dryly. "We've been through more than any of you. We fought hard, some of us died, but we didn't. We survived. We can handle a few patrols and watches."

Jeffrey didn't say a word and nodded, but he was obviously offended. Good, because all the other members of the Council were offended too.

"Just one thing…" he added before Brenda, Yolanda, June and Minho got out of the hut. "I want Minho to keep out of the patrols." He looked straight at the boy's face. "You're valuable, and we need you. Alive."

Minho frowned. "I'm not staying behind like a coward! I want to be part of it!"

"You can have the lead, if the others are ok with that, but I want you to stay in the Village as often as possible. No wandering outside alone, scouting for a bunch of Cranks that could tear your head off anytime soon."

Yolanda and June weighted their answer before agreeing with the old man.

"You can't be serious…!?" Minho cried out.

"I don't know…" Brenda admitted. Even she seemed to approve of that stupid-ass decision.

"I don't care." Minho declared. "Throw me out of this Council if you want but I'm not staying behind, like it or not."

"Come on… Be reasonable…" Jeff tried.

"No. You listen. I'm a good warrior, maybe the best you have. I need to fight."

"You can fight from afar, from here. Leading people and making decisions."

Minho's eyes narrowed. He wasn't understanding and he didn't like the sound of it. He also didn't want to talk about it anymore, so he just left without a word.

_Fuck you, old man._

* * *

Minho rarely looked so pissed off. It almost frightened Thomas, who was quietly taking care of the rabbits in the far west of the Village, near the Cliff. Some hunters managed to bring back a couple of them alive, and villagers started to breed them. It had been the best news of that day, and Thomas was more than happy to look after them. They were so cute and soft, he sometimes forgot that they'd eventually eat them. Plus, it was a relief for him to be with animals rather than humans. His little chat with Brenda had shied away doubts only temporarily. Now that a few days had passed, Thomas was uncertain again.

"What is it?" He asked Minho when he got close enough.

"The Council has agreed to set up an army, or at least something that'll look like it."

"Because of the Cranks? If they come back…"

Minho nodded. "They'll come back. There's no 'if', only a 'when'. We need to be prepared."

"So… That's good news, isn't it?" Thomas looked perplexed.

"In theory, yes. But Jeffrey wants me behind the lines, watching the fight from afar."

Thomas' brown eyes became even bigger than they usually were. "But… why?"

"Something like I'm valuable and he doesn't want me in danger…"

"Bullshit."

Minho couldn't help but smile. "Yeah, I tried telling him that."

"So, you're really going to sit down and watch?"

"Absolutely not. I came to you to ask you something, in fact."

Thomas raised his eyebrows, waiting for his friend to talk.

"I want you to enter that army, I didn't even think you wouldn't anyway, and when you're in, tell people you want to go solo. Of course you won't be solo. I'll go patrolling with you."

"Seems fine…" Even if it looked like a badly planned date. "Don't you think people would notice you're not around?"

"I don't shucking care. If I take what Jeff gives me, I'll be the head of the army. Brenda will surely be one of the leaders too, and she can't stand him either. And since he also managed to piss off Yolanda and June…"

"Are you saying that our official leader is alone in his own Council?"

"Yeah. He sounded like an idiot today."

That's exactly why Thomas didn't like politics. He sighed, wondering why Minho had gotten into that kind of klunk again.

"Are you planning a coup?" he asked his friend, not without smiling lightly.

"Why the fuck not? This old man is shucking stupid."

"You're being stupid too." Thomas answered with a grin. "But you're my friend and honestly, I'm gonna do what you ask me to. Patrolling with you sounds more than ok to me."

Minho smiled. It was good to feel such a blind trust in Thomas' words. "Good. I hope it'll turn out ok."

He was going to return to his other duties when Thomas interrupted him.

"Just one thing, Minho…"

"Yeah?"

"Did he really tell you why he wanted you to stay put?"

"Yeah he told me…"

"…That you're valuable yeah. Great warrior, survivor and all. But I am too, and I don't think that troubles him if I'm fighting in the vanguard. Hell, I could be the leader again, if only I wanted to - no offense. What in the world makes us so different?"

Minho shook his head, not hurt a bit by the words of his friend. It was only truth, plus he was saying something really intriguing.

"I don't know."

"I think I might." Thomas replied, frowning. "But best not jump to conclusions. Go and do your things, we'll talk about it later. Better not get him suspicious by talking to the weird solitary former-leader too long."

"Oh come on… Nobody calls you that!" Minho argued.

Thomas didn't say a word. He only smiled a little, watching Minho walking back to the heart of the Village. His friend could say whatever he liked, that wouldn't change the truth. Thomas did hear the people saying things about him. He was an outsider now, and the saddest part of it is that he cast himself out on his own. He couldn't afford to complain about what he brought onto himself. Still, the words hurt. It was a vicious circle he didn't know how to escape from. Sighing, he went on feeding the rabbits. At least,  _they_  didn't judge him.

* * *

The evening of the same day, Jeffrey called all the Villagers to gather near the Council hut. Most of them were afraid, and looked wrecked. Dirty faces with traces of tears on their cheeks, knees still trembling at the thoughts of Cranks roaming around what they considered their safe haven. But this was reality. There were no safe havens anymore in this world. Some of the Villagers already understood that, though. They looked fierce and defiant, dauntless to the core. Thomas and Minho were one of them, of course, along with Sonya, Harriet, Frypan and all the youngsters that survived WICKED trials. Others knew what it was like to be living outside the cities, in the wild when nobody was coming for help.

"I have a terrible thing to announce, my friends." Jeff began.

Thomas could feel Minho's annoyance radiating from his body. He really loathe that man… And he was rarely mistaken when it came to reading into people's intentions.

"Cranks are coming. We need to defend ourselves. I hate to suggest such a thing, but we need weapons and guardians. We need scouts and patrols. We need an army."

Whispers crept among the people, louder and louder. Jeffrey quieted them by raising his hands.

"We will take only volunteers. All volunteers, if male and over eighteen."

Whispers turned out to be shouts.

"You can't do this!" Harriet shouted.

"We can fight! We want to fight!" Sonya added.

Even Brenda, standing near Jeff and being part of the Council, frowned. "What are you doing, Jeff?" she asked. He didn't answer.

"So that's how you want to protect your people, huh?" Thomas couldn't help but talk. He knew his words wouldn't have much weight, since people had started to consider him as an odd outsider. "Those who fight the best must be kept idle in the Village, while some old unseasoned men put their life at risk in the middle of the woods. Why are you doing this, Jeffrey? What's the logic? I really want to know, because to me there's none. What do you care if the one that wield the spear that saves your life is sixteen or doesn't have a penis? Does that make the life-saving part less valuable? And how in the world could you put such bullshit while having two teenage warriors in your Council, one being a what…? A _girl_ …? Plus Yolanda and June that could be warring your ass out too if you're not paying enough attention. All volunteers you say? More like, not ALL of them."

The violence of Thomas' words didn't please a lot of people, yet they had to admit he had a point. Jeffrey's face went bright red, and soon the Villagers were all shouting their disagreement.

"Wow, I didn't ask you that much…" Minho whispered to Thomas.

"I didn't know he was being such an asshole." He replied.

"Honestly, neither did I. That's was pretty stupid for a speech."

"Totally lame."

"Agreed."

"So let's settle this!" June came in front of Jeff, urging the crowd to listen to her. "Jeff tried something and that obviously didn't work." Understatement of the year. "So let's stick to 'All volunteers', right? Those who can't fight yet will learn from those who can."

People started to listen to her, even though some of them were still perplexed.

"We don't want children to be part of it, but teenagers with their parents' consent can join."

She didn't talk about the orphans, but what she meant was pretty clear. Even if he didn't really talk to her, Thomas somehow knew she didn't consider teenage orphans as children. With everything they went through, they were more adult than the real ones.

At the back, Jeffrey made a long face. He was upset, and he surely was brewing revenge, but for now he couldn't do anything about it. He just had to watch. Thomas had a bad feeling… His anger might have put him in danger: who knew what Jeff was capable of doing?

* * *

The beginning of the night was spent in preparing new soldiers to their tasks. June and Yolanda held the registers, sorting the seasoned fighters from the volunteers that needed more training. Some teachers were even named, like Brenda, Sonya and Minho. Once again, Thomas didn't feel like taking part of it. He isolated himself, waiting for the time of his patrol. He had insisted on going alone, and nobody refused. He even suspected that nobody  _wanted_  to be scouting with him. That gave him mixed feelings: he didn't know if he was relieved or hurt. As planned, Minho joined him in secret near that rock on the shores of the river. They had agreed on this area for their meetings, thinking about the fact that next to no one went this far from the Village after dark.

"So, how did it go?" Thomas ask his friend.

"We have more than fifty fighters, most of them already prepared for confrontation."

"That's good."

"Yeah…"

Minho sighed with resignment as they began their walk around the southern part of the Village. He was awfully quiet, and looked worried. Thomas couldn't resist the urge to know what was wrong.

"What is it?"

"Nothing… Really. I just…" He grinned. "That's stupid."

"What's stupid, Minho?"

"I thought, I hoped we wouldn't have to fight again. To kill Cranks."

Those two words hit Thomas like a spear in the chest. Minho should have noticed, for he immediately apologized.

"No, that's fine… I…" Thomas hesitated. "I need to get over it." Maybe the time when he'd tell Minho everything was coming sooner than he thought. And if Minho wanted to ask, he didn't, and Thomas mentally thanked him for that.

They walked silently for a moment, watching around. It was dark and they didn't have any torches - that would have been a pretty bad idea - but their eyes soon adapted to the darkness. They went along the river, crossed it on an improvized bridge, and explored a little further. There were no signs of Cranks whatsoever.

Hours passed by, until Minho finally turned his head north.

"We should go back. It's late."

"You mean it's early. Morning's almost there."

Thomas smiled, and Minho smiled back.

It was in those little moments that Thomas recalled why he was still alive and what life could offer him. There were too few of these moments though, and his smile faded when he remembered that once in the Village, Minho would go back to Sonya. He hated himself so much for being jealous, but he couldn't suppress his feelings. Hell, he'd suppress them for a very long time already.

* * *

The Village was quiet when they reached it. Most of the people were sleeping, including Sonya who came back from her own patrol earlier. Minho naturally went to her, leaving Thomas behind without even realizing it.

"Wait a minute…"

Thomas frowned, and not because of what Minho was doing. For once…

"Minho!"

His friend turned his head, startled. "What's wrong?"

"I was wondering… Do you know if Jeffrey knows about you and Sonya?"

"Hmm… I think so, why?"

"What if he wants you to stay put because of her?"

"What are you talking about?" Minho came closer to Thomas, his voice lowering. He didn't want people to sneak on that kind of conversation, even if he didn't know where Thomas was heading yet.

"When he said you were 'valuable', maybe he wasn't talking about your skills… What I'm saying is… This jerk is old-school as hell, and we're maybe the last hope for humanity. Maybe he thinks that our individual freedom is useless and irrelevant. From a certain point of view, that does make sense."

"What are trying to say?"

"You know when you have to survive in a harsh environment, you tend to grow stronger with numbers. The more you are, the less significant are the losses. I'm single, you're with Sonya. He… He's… I think he's trying to _breed_  us."

"Like your rabbits?"

"Makes sense. You need women to have children, and children to grow up to reproduce."

"Bullshit, you also need men to have children, shank. Don't you know how it works?"

"I KNOW how it works!" Even if he didn't have the chance to try it out. He surely wouldn't have any in his life, but resigned to it. "But one man with ten women can be more productive than one woman with ten men."

"Thomas, that's heavy sexist bullshit you're bringing here. Didn't know you thought this way."

"Oh please, I don't want things to be this way. I want everyone to be happy and do whatever they like but obviously those Cranks won't leave us a choice."

Minho reflected for a split second, then declared: "Right. If that's what it is, I'll fake my break up with Sonya and see how he reacts."

Thomas looked deeply offended. "Don't you dare do something that cruel to her…!"

"It'd be fake, dumbass. I'm going to tell her it's only for the show… What kind of monster do you think I am?"

Thomas felt a little guilty, then smiled and let his friend go home. He watched his back for a few seconds, hating himself for feeling so bad. For a tiny moment, when he believed Minho was really going to break up with Sonya, he felt happy, like he really wanted his friend to dump her. That happiness quickly faded away for a more somber emotion, the most bitter disgust. That jealousy was eating him away alive, as sure as the Flare would have if he could catch it. He almost forgot humans don't need viruses to get crazy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted a little more feminism in The Maze Runner, and I'm sorry if I hadn't been smooth enough about it.  
> Hope you enjoyed this chapter. There are two more to come, and I'm planning to finish this fanfiction by May 2015. Thanks for waiting ! You're awesome :3


	6. 'Til the End of the Line

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thomas is fighting an inner war that's taking everything from him, but fortunately, he's not as lonely as he thinks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are two more chapters to go ! And sorry for forgetting Gally all this time :/ !
> 
> Hope you'll enjoy this chapter, even if it's people talking and not much else.

 

Sun was just about to rise when Thomas got up. Almost everyone else in the Village was still asleep: they now had soldiers - for lack of a better word - patrolling around, ready to warn the others and fight if Cranks were to come too close to their homes. The first thing Thomas did was checking on the rabbits. He tend to love them more than humans these days, even if they were bred to feed them. The thought made him smile sourly. The line between human beings and animals was getting thinner and thinner. For those who got the Flare, rabbits or humans were food all the same. A good thing that he ended Newt's agony before he…

No. Never Newt's death would be a good thing to Thomas, never. After all these internal soliloquies, all this time, he still couldn't forgive himself about what happened. He was feeling a bit better though, just being able to think about it. The dreams, the nightmares were still there, but without realizing it, Thomas had begun to accept what he did. He accepted it as a fact that however he didn't approve. Yet.

Few days had passed since his little talk with Minho about faking his break-up. Everything was going all as planned, as Minho and Sonya were publicly arguing more than before. Sometimes they had made it too obvious to Thomas, but it seemed like every Villager was taking the bait. It gave Minho the occasion to spend more time with his friend, so Thomas wasn't complaining either. Everything would have been fine if only he didn't know Minho and Sonya were faking. Damn, he hated himself for wanting such a thing. That's why he tried to conceal his shame and joy when he saw Minho approaching. Now the sun was clearly up: Minho still knew how to sleep well. Thomas had forgotten it.

"Hey! How are you today!"

"Ok, I guess."

He had dark circles under his eyes, didn't have a full night of sleep in weeks, and on the top of all this, his inner war was squeezing out what's left of his energy. He looked terrible, and Minho knew it.

"Want some help with the buns?" he asked, but Thomas shook his head.

"I'm almost finished here. Maybe you could help me with the water and fish?"

"You're not hunting today?"

Thomas shrugged, unconvinced.

"Don't feel like it. Plus, Gally set up a team, and I'm not in it." he just answered.

"Ok. When's your next patrol?"

"In two days, by night. Why?"

Minho had this look Thomas hated, this sympathy mixted with pity. He really didn't need this from his only friend. He just turned away his gaze, not wanting to see more of his own misery in Minho's eyes.

"Nothing. I just wanted to… Nevermind. I don't have much to do today, so I guess I'll come with you."

Without looking at him, Thomas vaguely shrugged again.

They went south to the river, just the two of them. Other Villagers were busy with cooking, building, gardening and taking care of the kids. Thomas noticed survivors singing and playing music with makeshift instruments, and that gave him hope. Just a little, but enough to be meaningful. When he thought they were doing all this in vain, that everything was lost anyway, these little things cheered him up. It wasn't much, but it was better than nothing.

They walked in silence, until reaching the stream. Here, it was quiet enough for them to talk without fear of being heard.

"So, Jeff is taking the bait?" Thomas asked, glad they could discuss something else than his mental health.

"I think so."

"You'll be in the patrols, then?"

Minho nodded with a smile. "Think so. I'll ask to join you for yours. I know how good you get along with other people…"

"Minho, please."

He was tired of this. He knew he was being asocial, that he was pushing himself aside, and he really didn't need to be reminded of it. He couldn't help it, and it even felt better to him, but he was still feeling guilty about it. He knew he was acting weird, so thank you Minho but shut up.

"Sorry."

They didn't say much after that. It was like that everytime Minho was opening his mouth, he was hurting Thomas. They were still the closest friends, but standing across a minefield. If they tried and reached for the other, there might be casualties. So they sat and fished in silence, a quiet and reassuring one. Not every moment has to be filled with words, especially when words were failing to describe your feelings. Thomas was just feeling lucky to still have Minho.

When they came back to the Village, by noon, Jeff was looking both surprised and furious. He asked Minho to follow him in the Council hut, leaving Thomas alone. Wondering what was happening, he looked around until his gaze met Sonya's. Jeff had indeed taken the bait. Maybe too much. He was about to resume his chores as a Villager, when he saw Sonya coming to him.

"Can I talk to you for a second?"

Thomas nodded, though something was telling him it wouldn't take only one second.

* * *

Thomas wondered why Sonya wanted to talk to him, even if he had a hint. It has to be about Minho. They didn't have much in common otherwise. They went near the Cliff, looking down on the beach when Harriet, Brenda and some other girls were building small boats. They had fun doing it: they were laughing despite the hard work. Thomas wished he still could be able to laugh like that. WICKED, and the Flare had taken more that he had first imagined.

Sonya sat down on the grass, soon joined by Thomas. The talk wasn't lasting 'a second', clearly not.

"I know you care about Minho." she began. "I know he's your only true friend here, even among the Gladers."

Hell, they were still 'the Gladers', as if they were never able to escape the Maze. Thomas sighed: there was nothing new in what she was saying.

"I also know the fake dumping thing is your plan."

 _Wait what?_  Thomas suddenly shook his head.

"It was Minho who came up with it, not me!"

"But it's you who pointed out how weird Jeff was acting lately. And I think you're right about him."

"So, what are you trying to say?"

Accepting the fact that it was useless to turn around the bush furthermore, she lowered her head.

"I noticed. The way you look at him, you're craving for him. It's so obvious."

Was she accusing him of setting up all this plan only to have Minho for himself? Because he wasn't feeling really happy right now, knowing everything was a lie and they hadn't really broken up.

"The thing is, Thomas, I don't feel right. I love Minho, I can't say I faked it because it isn't true, but when I see you, I can't help but feel bad. I'm a thief. I know it."

"You haven't stolen anything. Minho is with you because he wants to. I won't be arguing about this like he's some kind of puppy."

He tried not to sound pissed, but he was. Sonya didn't have the right to talk about Minho like this. Even if she did make a point; Thomas wouldn't admit it, but he sometimes felt like he's been robbed.

"Uh… sorry about this. I know Minho is making his own choices, and I'm still making mines. That's why I'm thinking about really breaking up with him."

"What…? Why?" Thomas wasn't following her now. "Because of me?"

"No… Well, maybe. I know you aren't asking, and I'm glad you don't because that would make you hell of an asshole, but I can't stand to see you like this, Thomas."

He was still lost, and it showed.

"You need Minho." Sonya said. "I love him and I want him to be with me, but it's not like you were just friends. You really need him. I might not be in your shoes, but I think I'm not wrong if I say he's like fresh air for you. You don't talk much unless you're talking to him, and you don't smile at all when he's not around."

Thomas' heart raced: Sonya didn't know just how right she was about him. Maybe he needed someone to point it out, because he hadn't realized that his relationship with Minho was this special. He knew it was, sure, but he had no clue how profound was the bound they shared.

"I don't know about Minho's feelings for you, Thomas, only that he's worried and he cares. I'm not saying he's in love with you, because honestly I don't think so. And what I'm about to do is going to hurt him, so…"

"Why are you really doing this?" Thomas couldn't understand why she wanted to dump Minho just because of what  _he_  was feeling. She didn't answer, so Thomas tried another question: "Why telling me, anyway? It's your decision, not mine, and I can't change anything about it. Do you want to hear that I'm happy my best friend is getting dumped so I'll have him for myself?"

"No! No… Please don't be like this… I just wanted you to know that I care about you too. You're the one that put us here, you're the one that saved us, and I can't stand by and watch you weakening like that. Not if I can do something about it. Happens I can."

"What if I don't want it?"

"You don't want to be with him?"

He shrugged. "We may never be together anyway. For all I know, you're just ruining his life for a lost cause."

"Thomas, you're not a lost cause." She turned to him, looking at him right in the eye. "You hear me? You're not lost."

"I am."

There were no tears to fight this time. Only the dryness of the sound of his self-told lies crashing on the floor of reality. He looked away to the ocean and sky, almost missing the Glade days.

_What have they done to me?_

_What have you done to me?_

_Newt…_

* * *

The night came too fast on the Village this day. Thomas sat around the bonfire like every night, a little aside from the crowd, eating alone waiting for Minho to come back. He hadn't seen him since Jeff took him in the Council hut, and was beginning to feel really anxious about it. What if something happened to him? No… Jeff wouldn't… Would he? Suddenly, Thomas wasn't hungry anymore. He put down the few food he had, and stare sadly into space.

People were chatting, telling stories to children, playing music, cheering each other up. It was their way to fight against the world they had to live into. Thomas, annoyed as he was, couldn't blame them. They still had hope and that was beautiful. Whereas he… He was a wreck. He just gave up on everything, and was even ready to give up on Minho if he had to. When Sonya told him what she wanted to do, mixted feelings were roaring inside. Joy didn't win, though. Resignation did.

"Hey, are you ok?"

Thomas was still in the doldrums when he heard Minho's voice. He lifted his head, unable to conceal the panic in his words.

"Where were you?"

"After talking with Jeff, I went to see if everything was ok with the patrols and shifts and all… why?"

Thomas looked away. He didn't want to say that he was waiting for him the whole time. While he was silent, Minho sat down next to him.

"Before you ask, and I know you won't, Jeffrey put me on the patrols with you."

So the plan had worked, after all. Thomas said nothing, still avoiding looking directly at Minho.

"You were right, he wasn't interested in my skills. Only in me having a girlfriend."

 _Not for long_ , Thomas thought. But it wasn't his part to tell Minho. Sometimes, he had the impression he didn't tell him much. Only what didn't really matter. What kind of friend was he? Since he didn't say anything again, Minho went on. Making the conversation alone didn't seem to bother him.

"Turns out I really don't have one now."

"What?"

"Oh, you aren't mute after all." Minho smiled sourly. "Sonya really left me. She didn't want to tell me why, though."

"But… when?"

She surely acted fast.

"Just now. That's why I came to see you, actually."

Thomas's lips parted, but he couldn't come up with something clever to say.

"We're back on the starting point, you and me."

"Really? I doubt that."

"Why?"

He could just tell him why. He knew the whole story, what Sonya didn't want to say. But something in his mind hid away and in the end, he said nothing, leaving Minho a deeper sea of lies.

"I know you're not telling me everything, but I don't mind. You'll tell me when you're ready."

"Why are you so cool about this?"

"Because I'm awesome."

Thomas smiled a little. That was a victory, even though Minho didn't really answered.

"Thank you." Thomas whispered.

"You don't have to thank me, shank."

"Yes I have to. Anyone else would have given up on me out of impatience and annoyance, but not you. I'm not the Thomas I used to be, that I'm not a leader anymore and that I'm a weight you have to carry around…"

"You're not a weight." Minho frowned.

But he was. If only Minho knew why Sonya really dumped him, he'd know it too. Guilt flared in his heart, shutting his mouth and his mind with silence.

"Stop the self-pity act, by the way." Minho resumed. "Doesn't suit you. You may not be the old Thomas, but you're not forced to be that way. I'm sure you didn't notice, but I've changed too. What WICKED did to us is irreversible. I miss Ben so much…"

Thomas suddenly realized that he wasn't the only one with people to mourn. Every Glader was, same with Group B. He knew that they'd been through much, just like him, but didn't quite grasp the idea that it was affecting them as deeply. He tried to take some distance, only to fail and feel even more guilty for not thinking about them. Yet, he could only thank Minho for talking about it.

"I also miss Alby." he went on, and Thomas knew exactly where he was going. "And Chuck. Winston."

"Teresa." Thomas said. Then, after few seconds. "Newt."

He didn't even know how he could utter his name after what he did.

"Newt." Minho repeated, nodding. There was something in his voice, as if he already knew. "Everyone back in the Glade liked Newt."

He looked at Thomas right in the eye, silently searching for answers. Hiding things from him was more and more difficult: maybe the time for yielding was coming.

"I loved him." Thomas confessed. "I still love him."

Tears made his eyes glow in the dark, reflecting the bonfire. He was far from sobbing though, trying to keep what was left of his pride. Then Minho opened his arms for him, and they hugged each other tightly.

"I'm here for you, shank." Minho muttered. "I'll always be."

"Thanks…"

The word wasn't strong enough, though. This little discussion had been what he needed and even if Thomas didn't tell the whole story, a weight had been taken from his heart.


End file.
